So, Amsterdam is in the past. And there appears to be a nasty surprise on the horizon for my hubby.
His employers, who two years ago were all over him, have informed him that his new year won't be so happy as they plan to let him go.
Merry Christmas, fuck you too.
He keeps things to himself, does my hubby. He must have known about this over the weekend. He said not a word though he appeared to be distant. He sent me an email about it. Not the best way to communicate. The kids read it over my shoulder. I didn't want them to, but they were in here when I opened the email.
Hubby has never been let go before. Another new and exciting experience, I guess. We can keep the wolf from the door for a while. It might be time for me to dust off my CV (resume) and see about some employment. Though I don't know what I'll do. I haven't worked, for money at least, in 15 years. Yep, I've been the stay-at-home wifey and mother. That might need to change. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.
I can't believe I actually allowed myself to get into this position. I vowed when I was 16 that I would always work and never allow a man to support me. This happened because of a humiliating experience at Gayfers department store in Tampa, Florida. I was shopping with my mother. She gave her credit card to pay for the purchases. Oops, sorry madam, that credit card appears to have been cancelled. She gave another. Oops, sorry madam, that one has been cancelled too. My dad cancelled the credit cards after he left my mother without telling her. My mother was too drugged up at the time on prescription meds from the psychiatrist to fully appreciate the humiliation. But I wasn't. I never darkened the door of a Gayfers department store again after that.
So hubby has learned what life in the Big City is all about. It's what have you done for me lately. It's let's set some impossible targets and not give you the proper sales support and watch you fail. It's your fund hasn't performed as well as we thought and that means we don't get as much money as we thought. It's a jungle, and Tarzan got eaten by the lions.
For the handful of you who still read my blog (I fear my Amsterdam experiences may have put some of you off and I also haven't been very good myself at commenting on other blogs lately), I apologise for being so maudlin. I don't mean to be, and maybe tomorrow I won't be.
But it's almost Christmas, goddamit.
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22 comments:
I am so sorry hon!
Nothing I say is going to help right now - so all I'll do is keep you in my thoughts that something will turn up!
that is tough. still reading here, though not as regularly as i would like lately. hope things get better quick.
Oh that just SUCKS!!!
A pox on his supervisors/management and company.
I feel very lucky that I've managed to stay ahead of "reorganizations" - and there were even times I *wanted* to be downsized! My current company is showing some flakes, so I may have pushed my luck too far. I just try to do my best and trust that somehow, someway it will work out - because it almost always does. And rarely in expected ways.
You did not alienate me with the Amsterdam tale - I thought it highly amusing, even if I didn't comment before. My husband lived in the Netherlands for several months in '87 - but he's such a good boy that he never partook of any of the tourist attractions you did. The story of his one experience with the substance of your experimentations is kind of pathetic. My own tales aren't nearly as interesting as your Amsterdam trip.
oh boy. that's very rough. for what it's worth, this has happened to a number of people i know, and they all came through it just fine. it's tough for a while, but something will work out.
my sister's irish boyfriend, living here on a green card, got laid off at age 52. he did find another job.
my aunt's husband, laid off in his 50s. later said it was the best thing that ever happened to him.
i do believe there is a silver lining. it will take a while to find. good luck in the meantime!
ps i don't think amsterdam put people off. it was amazing and riveting. hard to comment on, though, other than to say, WOW.
Oh man, but I totally know what you are feeling now. Hubby got let off nearly 2 1/2 years ago and has not been able to find steady work since (don't mean to frighten you!). We are doing alright, we lived on our savings for awhile, learned to tighten the spending and got very good at selling on ebay for extra money. I hope something comes soon, though, both for your Hubby and mine.
As for your Amsterdam days, I'm quite jealous, I would love to go there one day and be able to buy some weed legally and get stoned again. Once my kids came along, I stopped because I couldn't bear the thought of getting caught and my kids taken away from me for getting stoned.
Listen, sweetie, this has happened to my husband, too. Twice. The first time his department was eliminated when his company was purchased. The second time his department was eliminated through outsourcing.
Both times hubby came out smelling like a rose. We did have to move this last time, but all kinds of positive things have come out of it. Like blogging for me and a higher salary with stock options for him.
Don't misunderstand me, it wasn't easy. I remember feeling as you do that perhaps I should return to work, what was I thinking, yadda, yadda, yadda. Don't do that to yourself. Love and support him, circulate his CV and give it a bit of time. It took about three months for hubby to find a job the first time and he found two jobs in two months the second time. It'll be okay. I'm sure of it.
I was not put off at all by your Amsterdam stories. I'm just so naive when it comes to these things that I don't know what to say. I wouldn't know a joint if I saw one. And I probably would have killed Frenemy before I ever took a trip with her anyway.
I'm so very sorry for you. I was made redundant just before christmas years ago now but I can still remember how devastating it was. Completely rearranged my life. Life can be so bloody unfair at times. You deserve to be maudlin but hope you wil feel a bit better soon. Maudlin is not a good place to be. Take care.
annie: thanks for your good thoughts.
darth: we'll see how it goes. Thanks for reading.
j.: Yes, a mighty big pox on them.
laurie: I'm sure there will be a silver lining someday. This job took him away from his home and family during the week for two years and cost him money he would have received if he'd stayed put or gone elsewhere.
jenny: I hope something comes through for your husband too. Having kids makes us grow up, sometimes reluctantly.
kaycie: thank you for your encouraging words. They mean a lot. Amazingly, I appear to be the only one in our group who has a problem with Frenemy, so it seems that it's my problem.
dj: back atcha sweetie. Hope you're feeling better.
flowerpot: I won't stay maudlin long because I hate this feeling. Just knowing there are others out there who have experienced this and survived helps.
It sucks, but I'm sure he'll land on his feet somewhere else. Yep, NOT a good time, but when is it?
Fingers crossed for you all!
Hi, new to your blog, but thought I'd leave a comment.
My husband lost his job (a job I had gotten him, to make matters worse) about 15 years ago, and it was very traumatic. It turned him very bitter for a long time, and I'm still not sure he doesn't carry the scars. Men are so wrapped up in their jobs being who they are, it's tough on them.
I just went back to work after 12 years as a stay-at-home mom. I'm amazed at how easily I've made the transition, even the getting up and showering at 5:35AM. That alone is a feat. Good luck to you and yours.
So sorry about your hubby's job. :-(
Does he get any kind of compensation?
It's a rarity that someone stays at the same job for more than 10 years anymore. I think there's a lot more job turnover out there (whether voluntary or involuntary) than I, personally, see. I feel sure that something will come around for him. Sorry that it had to be an involuntary change for him, but maybe he'll find something he likes even more. The only thing consistent in life is change. Or something like that. ;-)
VI: He's already spoken to some headhunters who say there's nothing out there right now for a guy like him. But maybe they're wrong.
Hi Candy, welcome to my blog. I visited yours. It's hilarious! Men do identify themselves with their jobs so much. Such a macho thing. What work are you doing now?
PM: Thanks for your kind words. Hubby had been in his previous job for over 20 years and it was a bitter divorce, which makes what's happening now even worse.
The only thing I'm really qualified for, without having been able to finish college. I'm an Administrative Assistant to a Lawyer in a Real Estate Firm. Gives me plenty of time to blog :)
That is rotten for you all, especially this close to Christmas.
Haven't been commenting as not been near computor for a few days.
pxx
I agree with 'j' "that just sucks!" What a horrid sense of timing! You be upset and sad as long as you need to be on the blog. Use it as an outlet I say, you are going to need one I think. I would suggest you let hubby speak before informing him you are dusting (the CV); he may have a plan...
Keep your chin up, keep breathing. Remember my criteria: As long as no one is dead, you have options.
Not sure what it'll take to put me off your blog but it sure wasn't Amsterdam! In fact, I don't really think you'll succeed on that one!
So sorry to hear the crap news. What a f*****g pain in the a**e for you - especially at this time of year. And paid work for yourself won't be all that bad, I'm sure you're capable of much more than you think.
I feel life isn't going to be as bad as you fear. Light on the horizon, just look for it.
Best wishes and take care, Crystal xx
I've been made redundant 4, (count 'em 4) times - three times in Chicago, once in Dublin. There's always another job. It's hard to believe at the time you're made redundant (and if the search goes on for any length of time, it gets even harder to believe), but eventually, you find something.
Best of luck. I'll be thinking of you. (And you haven't lost me on the Amsterdam story - the last time we went there, it all ended in tears. :)
that's tough to be let go, but i'm sure everything will work itself out. it always does especially if you're determined to make it so! it's just a shame he couldn't come to you with it.
it would take a lot to put me off. i'm very open minded and i enjoy your blog. i try to visit several blogs a day, but sometimes i forget a blog or two lol
Thinking of you tonight and hoping you're doing okay.
Headhunters suck. All that means is that they don't have anything for him right now. They aren't going to tell him about anything that might be out there until they're going to get paid for it.
Keep your chin up, dear.
Pixie: I hope you're enjoying yourself een without being near a computer.
Lady M: I'm sure there are options and I'm sure Hubby is thinking of them even as I write this. He is resourceful, and I'm sure something will come through.
CJ: Thank you for your thoughts. I can see the light just outside my window now.
-ann: Wow, 4 times! Well, that's stopped me moaning. Life does go on then, doesn't it.
ciara: He didn't want to phone me from work apparently, and he'd dropped his mobile and somebody stood on it so he couldn't use that. I still think he took a big chance sending an email but he said he weighed up the risks, and just didn't care.
kaycie: He's got some ideas up his sleeve so we'll see.
I must get on and read these Amsterdam stories people are referring to. Sounds just like my cup of tea.
I haven't been posting this last week as I was staying away from blogger for a while. My last two but one posts upset me by writing about the topic matter that I decided it was best to stay away. Daft bugger eh?
Anyway, I have been there and worked for a company that laid off people every christmas - the IT industry was a harsh place to work when things took a downturn. God knows how they can live with themselves doing it at that time of year - heartless bastards.
I can only agree with other comments that it feels like the end of the world when it happens and it is scary but you will pull through and there is light and life at the end of the tunnel.
I'll be back to see how you are doing - hard I know but try to keep positive. Here's a hug.
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