Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Our local cross-dresser has a new look for summer. Gone is the 1950s-housewife-Norman Bates' mother's wig, pastel cardigan, floral housedress, opaque tights, wool cap, and sensible shoes. This season's look is more Valley of the Dolls, or in his case, Valley of the Balls.

I saw him yesterday working at one of the many charity shops that make up our village. There are coach trips to our village just to visit the charity shops. So you know he must be getting ready for the summer flush of tourists looking for a bargain. And he is a living example of that in his long, nylon, blonde wig, blue babydoll dress, electric blue eyeshadow, and big, fat, gold wedding ring. I mentioned in an earlier post that he put an advert in the post office looking for a wife. Guess he found one.

But here's what I don't understand. He's not one of God's better-looking creatures, even as a man. He has a prominent nose, hairy arms, and legs, and beer belly, though his hands look rather soft. You'd think if he wanted to dress like a woman, well, he would try a bit more to actually look like a woman, rather than an ugly man in ugly women's clothing.

I do admire his chutzpah because he is The Only Cross-Dresser in the Village. And he gives us something more to talk about than just the weather and what footballer was spotted in the local supermarket. Our lives would be in danger of terminal blandness were it not for Amber (not his real name, but then the name he goes by is not his real name either). Still, it isn't too much of a stretch of the imagination to picture him in a slasher film. Think the dwarf in "Don't Look Now" only several feet taller.

I just wonder what compels him to dress this way.

12 comments:

Pixie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pixie said...

deleted comment far too many spelling mistakes in even by my standards of spelling.

comment went something like... also got problems with short term memory lose....


You are missing a trick here you should orgainisecoach trips to see him after first kitting him out from the aforementioned charity shops.
px

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

LOL! You are so right! I do think he'd benefit from my or anyone's personal shopping.

jenny said...

Well, at least you know WHAT he is.. a man in woman's clothing-- even if he is fashion-challenged. I have a friend from school who went the whole route.. sex change, boob job, the works-- then denies that there was any work done and always was a woman. I still have a hard time calling him a her.

lady macleod said...

Oh the picture in my head! My eyes! My eyes! How fabulous to have a built in tourists attraction; Q and I ARE the tourists attraction here - because you know, we do so look like native Moroccans.....bleeb..

The Queen said...

I once worked with a cross-dresser who, although not as rotund or gruff as the feller you describe, was not fooling anybody. He reminded me of Maude, who I thought could pass as a drag queen, on a good day.

DJ Kirkby said...

I have never met a tranny who did'nt dress badly..but then I suppose I might not recognise one who'd managed to disguise himself effectivly as a woman...gonna go back to bed now and come back when I have woken up enough to submit a sensible comment!

J said...

Sounds much like the zanjero (see here: http://www.srpnet.com/about/history/facts.aspx) who served my neighborhood growing up. Just add a pair of wellies for walking into the irrigation canals. It made for lots of giggles and looks from kids and adults, especially a the very conservative region of the USA.

Chutzpah is a good word for it.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Jenny, Wow, I went to school with a few lesbians, but not actual transsexuals. How cool is that!

Lady M.: I'm sure you and Q are the best-looking tourist attractions in Morocco.

The Queen: I know what you mean about Maude. And her voice was so low too.

DJ: Hope you had a good sleep. But why do trannys have to dress so badly? Are they putting women down by dressing so badly? Is it because they're not gay (although some are) and don't have the gay fashion sense?

J.: Welcome. I'll be visiting that link. Is zanjero a Spanish word for tranny?

J said...

A zanjero is a "water master." He (in our case he/she/it) would open up the controls along the irrigation canals to to flood and thus irrigate yards.

It was a time that we had no respect at all for the natural climate and tried to turn the dessert lush. It used SO, SO much water.

If you drive through certain areas of the southwest, you can still see the irrigation canals in some neighborhoods. I have no idea if they are used anymore.

Queen Vixen said...

My Dad is a cross dresser. He has lived a secret and tortured life, but is finally coming out of the closet and descovering that actually there is a nice line in more feminine male clothing which seems to do the trick. Your cross dresser will have purchased from the afore mentioned charity shops, bless him, my Dad swears by Cancer Research. So yes, he may be a hairy arsed butch bloke with a big nose but inside he is a delicate little flower who loves to be girlie. Great blog by the way, I shall add you!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Thank you, Queen Vixen. And good on your dad for coming out of the closet, so to speak. I think he and our local cross dresser are very brave actually.