Here is my son in his school play. Obviously, he looks more human than the fellow at left, but I must say he is the Best Damn Squirrel ever in a school play. He should win an award.
Last night was a bit melancholy because it's the last school production either of my children will be in in primary school. But on the other hand, I thought, Hurrah, I don't have to see those Bitch Mothers anymore. You know the sort. Very cliquey. They rule the PTAs of the world. I used to be one of them till I was frozen out. Then I decided, Fuck 'em. I can't stand the PTA anyway. I can't help it if my children are so gorgeous and intelligent that they just naturally outshine the BMs' children. I can't help it if I'm just naturally so gorgeous and intelligent that I outshine the BMs.
So I sat next to one of the Bad Mums who still speaks to me and we had the most fascinating conversation. She's just had her nose pierced, and she regaled me with stories of the piercings of other bodily parts that she saw or heard about. Body piercing, apart from ears, is something I only ever saw in National Geographic. Foreskin and clitoral piercing are way outside my league. I remember when having two piercings in each earlobe was daring.
Anyway, after the piercing conversation we moved on to gossip about the male teacher who has been off for two months because of a bad back. The other mum reckons it's from too much shagging (he's recently become engaged after losing his wife to cancer). And we had a good look at the boyishly handsome new head, so different from the old head who didn't believe in shaving her legs. I always thought a sponsored leg wax would have been a good fund-raiser.
All in all, it was a good evening, despite one of the Bitch Mothers trying her best to blank me (she couldn't because she would have tripped over me otherwise). I do so enjoy being one of the Bad Mums.