Friday, 1 June 2007

Oh Poo Hoo Hoo

Peace and quiet for the moment!! Much needed after a day spent at one of those adventure playgrounds that are a health and safety nightmare. The goal for many of the urchins there today was to see how muddy they could get. When my friend R. and I gently reminded our lot not to get too muddy, one dad commented rather loudly that that's what they're there for. Bet he doesn't do the laundry. His boys were the shoeless ones. I wondered how long it would be before one of them bloodied his toe or worse.

Now you would think after a day spent running around in the hot sun, getting filthy, and sweating profusely, these children would want to sleep on the way back. You would think wrong. They entertained themselves with a game, What Would You Rather Be? My son's contribution was "What would you rather be, a man who shoveled poo for a living and made a lot of money or a woman who worked in an office but didn't make much money?" And "What would you rather be, a man with poo on his shoes or a woman who wore high heels?" And "What would you rather be, an animal's poo or an insect's wee?" Do you think he has a bit of obsession?

On the whole, today was much better with my daughter than yesterday. Sometimes she can speak to me in such a condescending tone of voice that I almost want to slap her. After reminding her several times that I didn't like her tone of voice, I went upstairs. My son followed and we had a lovely cuddle. After he went to bed, I called down to my daughter to go to bed. She came in my room a few minutes later and said her curtains had come off the rail. Let's go back a couple of hours when I was at my neighbour's sharing a bottle of wine. Now I didn't particularly feel like putting the curtains back on the rail but thought I'd better have a go. Alas, I was too short (I'm not short, just not tall enough) to reach the rail. And I swore, cried tears of frustration and lost my temper and said a few choice words to my daughter. See, while hubby is away, I try to take care of these domestic crises so I don't burden him when he is home. Also, he moans and groans and huffs and puffs, and I'd rather not hear it. So it was tears at bedtime again.

I awoke at 4 a.m. after another night sweat, let the cats out, then remembered what had happened between me and my daughter. I thought about the best way to tackle the problem. I could get the heavy ladder out and carry it up two flights of stairs. Or I could stack some books and stand on them. Which would be best? Well, I highly recommend the following: the Next catalogue, Argos catalogue, Beatrix Potter (complete stories) and Children's Thesaurus (never used before). I completed the job in no time, and not a tool was needed. When it had happened before, my daughter said hubby needed his tool box. And that, my friends, is the difference between men and women. Men always like to get their tools out, and women are quite happy to do without them.

11 comments:

Omega Mum said...

Having thought through your son's comments with some care, you can tell him from me that I would rather shovel poo - as long as I had appropriate coveralls and a powershower to go with them; wear high heels, but can't choose between wee and poo in the third - too metaphysical. And I am impressed you asked them 'gently' not to get too muddy - I go for the raucous bellow, myself.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Ah, but you wouldn't be allowed the coveralls and a powershower. Now what do you think? All the boys in the car still voted for the poo-shovelling job.

DJ Kirkby said...

Lolol... I quite agree men always like to get their tools out but I ahve to admit that I enjoy mens' tools (well Chopper's tool anyway!) except when I am feeling peri-menopausal!My mom let me splash for ages in waist deep puddles once, maybe that will be the topic in my next 'Adventures of a wild hippie child' posting. Gods know why I am so bloody reluctant to let mine make a mess though...

lady macleod said...

"What would you rather be, a man with poo on his shoes or a woman who wore high heels?

That is a question that needs an answer! That boy is a bloody genius.

the curtain affair - I think we can fix you up with your office in the State Department by next week.

Chantay said...

How old is your daughter? My 6-year-old can be quite condescending -- yes, at 6.

Chantay said...

I think I'm menopausal, too. Or perimeno, at least. Strange things happening with this old, er, youngish body.

Omega Mum said...

What, no overalls? No powershower? I'll get back to you when our money has run out and decide then. Tell the boys to keep the jobs open, just in case.

jenny said...

Always knew that theasarus would come in handy one day, didnt you??

Bravo on your ability to think on your feet for a quick fix. Hubby does the same, go through the whole elaborate ritual of checking the garage for tools and getting his toolbelt..... Takes him half a day just to get ready!

I'll take poo on my shoes. I cant remember the last time I wore heels!

Stay at home dad said...

The problem is when you get your tools out but don't do the job properly. As in your hubby's case.

debio said...

Condescension is my daughter's middle name - has yours mastered the supercilious look yet?

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

SAHD, you cheeky so-and-so! You have no idea how my husband uses his tools!

Debio, my daughter has mastered the condescending look, the exasperated sigh, the sarcastic tone of voice. I miss the good ole days.