Tuesday, 26 June 2007

Interlopers, Part II



I went to the gym today looking for the Interlopers. Permatan was there snapping her gum (who chews gum while they're working out?) with her saggy flesh mate. SFM got out two steps, two sets of weights, two mats. I wanted to ask if she was setting up for everybody, as some of you may recall I wrote about in a previous post. But I chickened out. Anyway, being at the back gave me the vantage point of looking at Permatan's bum as she stuck it waaayyyy out doing squats. So not pretty. Permatan must be my age at least and wears pale pink lipstick. So not a good look.


Did I go in front? Did I hell! My back is killing me and for some strange reason I thought going to the gym would be just the thing. It is just the thing -- for doing my back in even more. I took half a Valium last night hoping that would relax the muscles. It relaxed me to the point I got up half an hour late. My daughter was NOT happy with me.

Lawrence the Lothario was at the gym as well. He is a gentleman (?) well into his sixties whom I used to talk to on occasion. I stopped when Lawrence started invading my personal space while I was using one of the weight machines and making suggestive comments. I think he thought I must be one of those lonely weekly widows who goes to the gym to pick up sixty-something men. If I were to pick up anyone, it would be the well-muscled, handsome personal trainer. He's a bit like David Beckham though -- the magic goes the moment he opens his mouth.

When my husband first start working away, my friends made a big deal about how I would have the opportunity to have an affair now. Except I haven't found anyone I'd want to have an affair with. If I were attracted to 60- and 70-year-old men, I'd be in clover because there's a lot of them around here. But sadly I'm not. And I realise now that some of the men I find attractive could be my sons! So I'm sticking with hubby. Extramarital affairs are just too much hassle. I'm all for an easy life.




8 comments:

Queeny said...

Who chews gum while working out? Afraid I'm guilty. It sort of serves as a distraction for me, especially during crunches.

And since I mostly attend group classes, I chew minty gum because I don't want to run the risk of offending anyone's olfactory glands (though others do in other ways--whoooaaaa).

DJ Kirkby said...

Too funny! Hope your back is better or that you have taken a stronger dose of Valium. Well now that I have said that, I realise that is the wrong adivce. Valium is not a muscle relaxant it is a hypntoic, you need buscopan or similar anti spasmodic, tell your GP I told you so (I am sure he will be thrilled to hear it, lol)

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Queeny, don't you think chewing gum might lead to offending others' olfactory glands in other ways? Just a thought.

DJ, thanks for the advice. I'm actually seeing the GP tomorrow about menopause issues so will bring that up. I have taken some anti-inflammatories, which work better. I'm saving the Valium for when I have a complete breakdown.

lady macleod said...

yum thanks for the eye candy.
I am so sorry to hear about the back. I just can't imagine anything worse, I mean it affects everything yes? Q's grandfather has a problem that flares up and just gives him a terrible time. Do take the valium and STAY DOWN for a day or so; not too long I understand or you are making it worse. I think drinking is good yes? It is relaxing! Go over to Drunk Mummy and get some tips on what is good for the back, that's my opinion. Do feel better.

Pixie said...

D.B. is just so gorgeous. Would think about helping him with his work out anyday.
px

mind the gap said...

I would be in trouble if I had an affair with my personal trainer - she is so buff I am sure I spotted muscles in her armpits. Also like with your trainer the magic goes when she opens her mouth - she is Ukrainian so I can't understand a word. And my fiance might be a bit peeved...!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Thanks, Lady M. I will visit Drunk Mummy (something I've always aspired to be) for tips. I feel better today.

Pixie: I think DB is perfection till he opens his mouth.


Mind the Gap, where have you been? Female personal trainers frighten me, especially those from former Soviet countries. Do you think she took male hormones?

Snuffleupagus said...

Ha ha. I think people who have affairs, are not the type to think it is too much trouble! They like the mystery and the race of the heartbeat etc. Hmm... You make me wonder if that is the thing that makes some people faithful and others not? That some just can't be bothered? Hmm. Don't know.