Monday 19 March 2007

Home Sweet Home

So it's official. We aren't selling our house. We can take that bloody sign down and get on with our lives. I feel so relieved. But of course the question is what do I do now? I can continue with life as it was, but maybe it is time for change but of a different sort.
The children moving up to secondary school will provide a natural break with some schoolgate mum friends who I don't consider real friends anymore. I can have more freedom to get on with doing whatever I end up doing.
I find it somewhat amusing that I've become so attached to this area. There was a time not that long ago when I couldn't wait to leave here. I hated the weather, the preponderance of old people (reminded me far too much of when I lived in Fort Myers, Fla.), everything. However, as when I lived in New York, it grew on me -- slowly but surely. I began to see beauty where before I saw dross. Walking along the beach on a sunny day. Driving up and down and seeing the familiar faces and places. Watching my children's friends grow older and my friends grow dearer. The daily passage of life here has become something I cherish.
Maybe it's because it's been so long since I've lived near family (try 30 years -- I left for college and never moved back home again). I lived in the same house till I was 15 when my parents split up. This is the longest I've lived in one place since then. I had my children here. You could say I grew up here in a way.
I'm happy I'm staying here. I think I should have a party.

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