Friday, 7 December 2007

Friends and Frenemies

You ever have one of those days that just gets worse and worse? Where all your best-laid plans fall apart? I've had one of those, which is why I'm burning the midnight oil writing this.

It started with the rain. Hey, it's England. It rains a lot. I know that. But there's rain and there's rain. Then I arranged to go dog walking with a friend in the woods behind her house. We hadn't gone very far when I noticed I hadn't seen Jake for a while. Normally, he stays very close to me. So my friend and I then spent half an hour shouting his name and wandering around looking for him. My imagination took over, and I envisioned spending the whole day looking for him, phoning vets, telling the family he was gone. Then my friend called her house. He was there! He'd run back when he couldn't find me. Clever boy!

Now this bit gets complicated. My dog-walking friend is going to Disneyland Paris for New Year's. I thought another friend was having our family for New Year's. The dog-walking friend said she'd heard from another friend that dog-walking's frenemy (not the same as mine) was hosting a dinner party on New Year's. Hmm, I thought. Friend No.2 is very tight with dog-walking's frenemy. Does this mean she's dumped us for the frenemy? I saw Friend No. 2 later in the day. "What's happening with New Year's?" I asked. "Oh we're going to frenemy's for a dinner party," she replied. She said her daughter told her we were doing something with some friends for New Year's. "Yes, you were the friends we were doing something with. Remember, I said I'd do something, but you said you wanted to." She brushed me off. I was -- and am -- really upset and would have cried except I'd had a spray tan earlier and didn't want to ruin it. So we're high and dry for New Year's. It's too late to organise anything, and it would -- and does -- look like we're Billy No-Mates.

What really bothers me is that in the past Friend No. 2 has asked to come to mine for New Year's, and I've obliged. I also oblige when she asks if I can have her kids while she goes out, as I am tomorrow night and on the 22nd. I think it might be time to reassess the friendship, which will be hard because my kids and her kids are really tight. And I go to salsa dance class with her.

This brings me to the third shit part of the day. My kids and I are going skiing in February to the same resort as Friend No. 2. Except that I can't get any confirmation from the company I've booked it through that they've received my cheque. Hubby has gotten me all worked up about this, and I'm really worried that I'll be left high and dry again. But in a way, it might work out. I'm so upset with Friend No. 2 at the moment that I don't want to go skiing with her. But my kids were looking forward to going with her kids. Oh what a tangled web.

If only I had some legitimate problems to moan about. At least Jake is all right.


Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Hi mate, If I dont get a chance to visit you again before I leave to Oz, I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas! Hope you have a good one!.

Anonymous said...

Christmas and New Year can be a really hard time for some but I'm sure you'll make yours fantastic. Do you really need friends like that anyway?

Crystal xx

Flowerpot said...

You had a really crap day didnt you? I'd feel just as you do. But we rarely do anyting at New Year - but then it's different when you have children isn't it? I'm sure somethign will come up -it's weeks away. Whata lousy friend.

Pixie said...

People are so thoughtless sometimes.
Hope something comes along to make New Year interesting. Or you could try my well tested method.... Go to bed at 10pm and don't get up till the whole stupid thing has passed! Or even what I'm doing this year British Airways permiting is going to the States for a long weekend.

Blogget Jones said...

If I were in England, or you were in Colorado, I'd say we needed to get together and cry on each other's shoulders! You have SUCH sympathy from me in this!

I have a close (?) friend from Denver, but living in Lubbock, Texas. My kids will be there for Christmas with their dad, and I have to stay nearby. My friend wasn't going home for Christmas, so I'd stay there and we'd have a grand time.

She told me a few days ago that she IS going to Denver instead -- not to see family, but to chase a hockey player she's obsessed with. I'll be alone for Christmas. Grrrrr.....

Why do we keep these "friends"?!?! I'm so sorry your pal blew it for you, though. I know it smarts. I hope you find spectacular alternative plans!

marymaryquitecontrary said...

oh dear; come back 'Dear Abbey'
wakeupandsmellthecoffee believe me when I tell you, this will all be irrevelant in your future happiness. When wou get to the age I am now, you will think back and you will be able to count your ,'real friends' on one hand. It is true you will have many aquaintances in life,not too many 'real friends'. They are the ones that will matter.

laurie said...

im so glad you found your dog. that's what's important.

this other stuff--these rude people who are on-again, off-again friends? not so important.

i'm with marymary and others who commented and said don't worry about these frenemies. you have a real life, and a real husband, and real kids, and you don't need false people to make you feel loved and popular.

if you really want to go out on new year's eve, you will. and if you don't, who cares? who's going to think you're friendless? not any of us.

hang in there. this time of year it's so easy to get blue.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Do you need us to come and beat her up for you? Because we will. Gladly.

I'm glad Jake is home.

Sparx said...

Oh that's so rubbish, what a horrible thing to do to a friend. Fate will sort out the skiing tickets one way or another, maybe whichever way it goes will be a pointer...

Snuffleupagus said...

Hmm... How about telling her what you think and how she has made you feel? Often issues like these come about from misunderstandings and only when you confront them do you understand what the other person is thinking. Of course, she may just be a bitch. In which case, the conversation will be the line which you draw under it. Or is that too icky a suggestion?