Tuesday, 4 December 2007
Britney and Amy and All the Rest
No they don't look alike, but they are alike. Two talented young women throwing it all away. And for what? Drugs, booze, inappropriate choices in marital partners. Their type has been around before. Billie Holiday and Janis Joplin come to mind.
What is with this self-destructiveness? Are they so spoiled they can't see how enormously fortunate they are? What will it take for them to see it? Losing custody of her children didn't make Britney wake up. A drug overdose and arrest hasn't made Amy wake up. My daughter asks me difficult questions about these two. Why do they behave that way? What will happen to them? Do I think they are talented? I only know the answer to the last question, which is yes. I think they are tremendously talented. But talent is no excuse for bad behaviour. And these two are the poster children for Bad Behaviour.
They make me angry because they remind me of another once young woman I know who lost her life to drink and drugs: my stepsister. (Welcome to another post about my vastly dysfunctional family.) My stepsister didn't have the talent of Britney and Amy, but she certainly has had the advantages. She went to six (!!!!!!) colleges and still doesn't have a degree. She married a man who had cheated on her with her roommate. When they made up and he got her pregnant, both families forced them to marry. He then was sent to rehab by his parents and wasn't around for the birth of their first child. Neither was very disciplined about money and they ran up enormous debts, which they couldn't pay because they didn't work (except sporadically for his parents). He went back to rehab, she went to rehab, he got out of rehab, she got out, they had another child. They had lots of help along the way with their dysfunction by both sets of parents. They split up but never divorced. He would resurface in his children's lives from time to time, then leave as quickly. Their kids went to live with my stepbrother, and hopefully won't fall into the addiction vortex. Stepsister is currently back in rehab after leaving her wildly inappropriate boyfriend (on the sex offenders' register). Her husband is in jail awaiting trial for stealing from a relation of stepsister. (You would think we were from a low-income, poorly educated background. We are not.)
So Amy and Britney, Wake Up and Smell the Coffee. You are role models for our daughters, and you are failing abysmally. Make something of your lives besides a mess. Insecurity is not an excuse.