Tuesday, 16 October 2007

I'm a Barbie Girl

On the left is Jordan, aka Katie Price. For those of you not familiar with her, she is famous for, well, being famous. She started off as a Page Three girl in the Sun, meaning she took her clothes off and posed naked for the camera. She has ENORMOUS boobs thanks to the miracle of plastic surgery. She's not stupid, though she certainly looks it. She's built a mini Jordan/Katie Price empire. She went on one of those celebrity reality shows and met her husband, Peter Andre, a failed pop singer, there. They've since made a couple of reality programs in which they've shown themselves to be quite natural around the cameras and also just normal people. They have three children; her first child, by a footballer, is blind and autistic. She is very honest about what life with him is like. Peter Andre has become the boy's surrogate father. I want to dislike Jordan/Katie Price but I can't. For underneath the Barbie clothes and the pink carriage she rode in for her wedding, she's someone I think I could get along with.

We all know the girl on the right. I went through a Barbie phase when I was growing up. I still covet some of her clothes (the ones from the 60s) and those little shoes. And I envy her figure, though not her lack of sex organs. My Barbie dated Ken, but she really liked GI Joe because he had moveable hands. That meant he could cuddle her, unlike Ken, whose arms stuck straight out and were as immoveable as his inane smile.

My daughter went through a Barbie phase too. I got her all the stuff I never had (second-hand of course). Her Barbies (for she had many -- oh, the wonders of trade with China) had skis, furniture, a van, a big house or two, tiny knives and forks, a dishwasher for those knives and forks and plates and goblets. She had a candelabra, for heaven's sake. And she had Ken, with moveable arms AND legs. One night when my husband was tucking my daughter in, he noticed what looked like a party set up on the floor. Ken was on top of Barbie, cuddling her, with his surfboard nearby sticking straight up. Guess the poor guy had to get a stiffy any way he could. I'm sure it was all innocent fun on my daughter's behalf, but hubby and I sure had a good laugh.

My Barbie phase ended when I was about 9; my daughter's ended even earlier. I know Barbies aren't very feminist dolls, though goodness knows Mattel has tried to make her hip with the times. And I've seen some really very funny jokes with Barbie the butt of them (redneck Barbie, terrorist Barbie, etc). Truthfully, I miss Barbie.

But I can always watch Katie Price, the living, talking, filty-mouthed Barbie. And she is more fun.


Queeny said...

My daughter likes Barbie but she's really into the Brats. Funny thing though, no matter what doll she has, they all end up "living" as nudists in our house. Once the novelty of changing outfits wears out, my baby just leaves them naked all around the place. (I get embarrassed for the dollies and either clothe them or hide them away).

The Rotten Correspondent said...

I had Barbies when I was younger, but haven't had the experience as an adult. I remember her wardrobe still. And especially the shoes.

In my house now it's just action figures and legos.


Pixie said...

I was always a teddy bear person.
One son was into Tiggers big time and the other into soft crocodiles and snakes.... So I think I'm a deprived child.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Queeny: Hey, how's NYC? I think the Bratz look scary. Barbie was a nudist in our house too. Especially when Ken was around.

RC: Yep, I've been through the action figures and legos too. I still like lego.

Pixie: Well, that's why you're so cuddly now.

marymaryquitecontrary said...

The only Barbies I buy for my grandchildren are the princess ones. I don't want them to grow up too quickly. Then, last Thursday one of them said," oh Grandma it is Thursday, great,looking ten years younger is on tonight." She is eight years old.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

I was a closet barbie fan, in my teens. Ken and Barbie used to make out all the time.

Oh and in Oz, we had 'Feral Cheryl' Brown haired barbie, who had dreadlocks, wore a hemp sack, had a cig in one hand and a bag of dope in the other! (She came from Nimbin, the druggy capital of Oz!)

darth sardonic said...

lol, one of the best lines i ever heard (third rock from the sun, on tv, some years ago) was when a lady and a guy were playing with barbie and ken, and the girl says, "what do you want to do ken?" and the boy replies, "nothing that involves bending our arms and legs"

and the bratz scare fuck out of me. they look a little like aliens, sorry. matter of fact, they make barbie's disproportionate frame look normal.

we are gi joe fans here, of course.

Pantheist Mom said...

I, took had Barbies growing up. I also had the Donny and Marie dolls. Donnie and Marie ended up giving a concert for the disabled. We pulled out all of our old Barbies with missing limbs and lined them up for the concert. We thought we were being very kind for not neglecting our dismembered Barbies.

Don't know if I was a very compassionate child or just very very odd.

-Ann said...

I never had a Barbie and the couple of dolls that were given to me ended up in the bottom of the toy box. The only doll I ever asked for was the one that wet itself. Just wasn't into that sort of thing. I did love my EasiBake Oven and LiteBrite though.

In college, I met a guy who won a writing contest with a short story about what happened when Ken and Barbie got passionate. I still remember the line "Um, Ken, where is your love snake?"

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Oh, you guys have made me laugh today.

marymary: Kids learn a lot more today from TV than when we were kids. They see full-frontal nudity all the time in the guise of how to make yourself look good. When I moved to the UK, I was astounded by the amount of nudity on TV. I called it "Nipples at Nine." Now it's nipples at dawn.

VI: Feral Cheryl! I love it! I want one!

Darth: Yeah, I always liked GI Joe better than Ken, who I thought was a bit fey. My son was into Action Man, which is the equivalent of GI Joe over here.

PM: I am still laughing at the thought of Donny and Marie giving a concert for the benefit of disabled Barbies. I think you should write Donny a letter and tell him. I bet he'd get a kick out of that.

-ann: I didn't think you'd be a Barbie girl, and lots of us aren't. I always wanted an EasyBake oven but never got one. Love that line too.

ciara said...

my oldest girl outgrew barbies and babydolls before the age of 5. she does seem to like the bratz a bit, but she doesn't so much play w them as she just displays them(bratz don't scare me and my fave of the girls bratz are the tokyo ones). what barbies my girls do have are atop their closet in original packaging gathering dust (collections started as babies). my youngest is still very young at heart...she loves all that stuff.

when i was younger i always wanted the barbie dreamhouse w the elevator...never got it. or the barbie vanity case w a real working hairdryer...never got it. and who knew that the miss america barbie i got back in 1972 would be worth a small fortune today (damn, why did i get rid of it?) lol oh, well. at least as the kids get older we are getting less toy clutter. btw i always secretly made barbie and ken make out...and do you remember 'the sunshine family' from the 70's? yep, i got them naked and made them kiss a lot, too. does this make me a freak? lol

debio said...

Jordan is always her cruising the Malls with a complete entourage of 'heavies' - and that's not including her plastic boobs!

Unlike my daughter's Barbie dolls, however, she is able to remain upright whilst wearing high heels!