Monday, 22 October 2007
Holding Back the Years
This is more of a rant than a moan. The other day I was in my local Tesco Universe store perusing the Potions to Make You Look Younger aisle. I wanted an exfoliating scrub for my face (did the word exfoliate exist before 2001). Olay make two different kinds, one that promises to "illuminate" your skin and one that fights the seven signs of aging (without specifying what those are).
I wondered what the difference between the two scrubs was, other than £2, so I checked out the ingredients on the back. And found there was absolutely NO difference. So I bought the cheaper one, of course, seven signs be damned.
Then I wanted some shaving gel. Now, King of Shaves makes a very nice gel for men that I get for my husband so I thought I'd check out the women's gel. But first I checked out the ingredients. Apart from the extra £2 (what is it with £2?), guess what? THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE.
Some people somewhere are getting paid a lot of money to con us women. Dare I say they might even be women? Take the former saint, Anita Roddick, whose untimely death revealed what a charlatan she and her company, Body Shop, were.
But why are we women so willing to be duped? I think it's because aging has become a sin. If you look your age, dress your age, act your age, something is wrong with you because we should all be seeking the proverbial fountain of youth. We should be spending loads of money on trying to keep our youthful looks. The more adventurous will spend loads of money on cosmetic surgery (hello, Joan Rivers and Sharon Osbourne). We should feel bad because 30 years ago we enjoyed our time in the sun a little too much and now have the wrinkles and brown spots to remind us. Or we smoked or drank or stayed out late. The cosmetics industry is trying to make us feel ashamed for having had a life.
I feel I have to try to maintain some sort of youthful appearance because I'm married to Dorian Grey. Apart from a few more grey hairs, my husband has not changed in the 16 years I've known him. He weighs the same, perhaps even a little less. If he overindulges one night, he doesn't wake up the next morning looking like a bloated fish. He doesn't have mysterious lumps and bumps that crop up overnight on his skin. I found one stretchmark on his back. He is 21 months shy of 50 and could easily pass (and does) for a 35-year-old (that seems so young now). And he doesn't use moisturizer or exfoliator or sun screen. Bastard!
Well, I've had my Monday Moan. Now you'll have to excuse me while I dash off. I've run out of moisturizer, and there could be a crisis.