Monday, 24 May 2010

And the Good News Is...

I don't have cancer. Yes, I've been sitting on that one for a few days. You see, a few weeks ago I discovered some growths in a place where there shouldn't be any. I thought they were sweat pimples. Then I looked at them one day. They are black. And there are at least four of them. I did what all self-respecting hypochondriacs do.I googled them. And discovered they could be a rare form of genital cancer that's usually only seen in women over 70. But there are cases of younger women getting it.

So it was with much trepidation that I went to see my doctor today. I was in tears before I'd even stripped off. This doctor is usually quite remote, but today she hugged me. I must have been quite a sight.

I moved on from the doctor's to my websight design class, which I started today (to go with the other computer class I'm taking). And folks, I nearly cried again because a nice 30-something-year-old flirted with me. He probably didn't know it was flirting. I definitely was flirting with him.

I felt like I'd been rescued from the dead by both the doctor and the younger man. I need this too because Future Ex-Hubby (whom I have reason to believe reads this) has been so vile to me and about me.

I finally said something to Daughter about how FEX keeps telling me how much she hates me. She said hate is a strong word and she only hates one person and it isn't me. She also said I should know by now not to trust anything FEX says. I feel so much better now. They know he lies. They know he lies to me about them. They don't hate me.

All is definitely still not right in my world. But it's getting better. Just need to get a job.


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Well thank God for the diagnosis and your daughter telling you what you need to hear. These are very tough times for you all, been there etc. I didn't know how I was going to get through it at the time either but somehow day by day you can. Your girl must need you very much and be as hurt and confused as you. I hope you can nurture and grow your relationship. It's terrible how people lie to children to score a point. The kids never forget, it diminishes the person in their eyes and the respect they have lost dinishes the love they may have had too. A sorry way to end a marriage and to hurt the kids in the process. Go flirt with that 30 year old again. Clearly someone see;s your real qualities and you have many. X

twirl unabashedly said...

yay for not having cancer!!

just went thru this whole unwelcome breat lump thing, and i dont have cancer either. yay for not having cancer!


anyhoo- i've been lurking around reading for some time now. your situation is so much like my aunts that i've wondered in passing if you were actually her.

its sounded like things may be finally looking up for you. i'm so glad.

and- so what if he reads this. i agree with MOB. go flirt with the 30something some more. its good for you.

Expat mum said...

Well good, but what the hell are they?

Fire Byrd said...

Mob is right isn't she, your kids are hurting and the safest person in their world to hurt back is you, cause they know they can trust you not to desert them emotionally.
Yah for being okay and flirting!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Hello MOB. I do empathize so much with my daughter. I know the pain she feels because I felt it myself. But it's nice to know she knows what her dad is like. Of course she loves him. But she also sees him for what he is.

Twirl unabashedly: You win the prize for best name. I am so sorry your aunt is going through this too. But I'm so glad about your breast lump thing.

Expat mum: They are blood blistery things that have a proper name I didn't quite catch, what with all the crying. They're not all that common so I can still feel a bit special.

Firebyrd: So glad you made it back from your volcation (get it?). I think I need some recreational sex. Soon.

twirl unabashedly said...

wakeup~ you're the first person to ever compliment my name. even my fiancee was like "huh?" when i started it, ad he usually gets me. and HE'S the one who calls me a twirler. thanks so much. ::beam::