Monday, 8 June 2009

Young Love, First Love

My daughter has a boyfriend. She finally admitted it to me last week when I took her out for lunch after her ballet exam.

I am happy for her, though feel a little bit apprehensive too. I am ecstatic that she told me. He had been going out with a friend of hers, whom he dumped by text. The friend cried on daughter's shoulder. Daughter made her brownies, talked to her, dried her tears. So why is daughter going out with this guy? She likes him, he likes her. Did this guy break up with the friend to go out with her? Yes. Did she know he was going to do that? Yes. So what kind of a friend does that make her? Well, she feels bad about what happened to the friend, but.... I tried to explain that no guy is worth falling out with your friends over. But.... That's a lesson she will have to learn for herself, I guess. At least she feels guilty. The friend is talking to her again, just about.

I knew something was up when she asked me to get tickets for her and the boy (just her "friend" at that point) to see a rap musician in October. I told her the relationship could be over by October. How would I know that? Because I know about young love. How do I know about young love? Because when I was her age (14), I had a 17-year-old boyfriend who drove and had a car. We met in February and by the summer it was all over when he was caught taking another girl out while I was visiting my grandparents.

But, again, these are lessons she will have to learn for herself.

She seems so happy as she skips off to school each day. She studies hard for her exams. She practices her ballet every day. She manages to keep in touch with her many, many friends. She and hubby are getting along better than ever. She is sad about the dog's demise and feels particularly bad for hubby losing his best friend.

I am happy for her too. And a bit apprehensive. I just hope she doesn't become one of those women who steals other women's boyfriends and husbands.


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
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menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh hell, I didn’t know about Jake. Now I am sitting blubbing because it was so sad to read. I don’t know how I missed your posts although my dog is very ill right now so I haven’t been online much. It is so heartbreaking but what choice did you have? The dog was clearly beyond help as all vets will suggest a re-homing, if they can in any way, be turned around. If you couldn’t do it then no one could. The vet knew this and helped you to make the right decision. But I know how you are feeling as I have had several pets put to sleep and it breaks my heart each time. I have an 18 year old cat that is surviving with kidney disease but will not last much longer and my wee Jack Russell dog who is only six this year is suffering from seizures. I have cried quite a bit over the last few weeks since she has started to fit more regularly. I know she won’t make old bones and one extended fit could kill her and yet she is the pet love of my life. I am researching like mad on the net and have changed her diet in the hope that I can reduce the frequency of the seizures and make sure she has a good quality of life. I suppose we will try anything to keep them going and that is what you did with Jake. You tried everything and you did the kindest thing you could for him.

Someone once told me a soppy bit of old tripe – that when your pet dies it goes to a place with other pets to wait for you, whilst all the time having a great time playing and having fun with other pets. When you finally shuffle off the mortal coil, you get to go there and all your pets bound over to greet you and stay with you thereafter! It may be tripe and sentimental claptrap but I hold onto that idea and hope my cynicism proves to be just that!

A new puppy will help heal the pain and bridge the loss whilst you remember Jake with love.

I deleted the previous comment as I noticed spelling errors !

Fire Byrd said...

So how far are you done the line of your husbands friends.... LOL

It is so difficult to help them see that the grand passion of one day is old news the next. But you're right she will learn, just as we did, and we wouldn't have taken any notice at their age either!

Kaycie said...

She's a kid. She's probably never felt this before. I am sure she'll figure things out. If it makes you feel any better, I once dated my best friend's ex boyfriend who also happened to be my ex boyfriend's best friend (small town), and I have never, ever stolen anyone's boyfriend or husband since. ;)

Fred said...

We had a similar situation, but the boy in question wasn't officially dating D3's friend. They were just "talking." We warned D3 about getting involved with him, but she ignored us. It would have appeared as though she "stole him" from her friend.

Like you said, she'll have to learn those lessons on her own.

As it turns out, nothing developed, but it could have been ugly.

The wife of bold said...

oh dear, this takes me back to my teenage years, i am so grateful they are over - i don't envy you or your daughter, but your right she'll learn the hard way and she's lucky she's got you there when it all goes pear shaped.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

MOB: I'm so sorry about your wee dog and cat. My friend's dog has periodic seizures as well. Thank you for your kind words about Jake.

Fire Byrd: He doesn't have any friends left so I'm pretty far down the line. And no, if I'd bothered to confide in my mother, I'd have taken no notice either.

Kaycie: Oooh, you naughty girl! I think I did the same when I was 15. So I know what it's like too.

Fred: Oh, these daughters. They do keep us busy.

Wife of Bold: Actually, when it goes pear-shaped, she'll probably turn to her friends, and I'll find out three weeks later. I hate these years.

The Dotterel said...

I'm reading this as preparation for the next few years with Sally!

sexy said...
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wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

The Dotterel: Enjoy these moments and save them up. Teen-age girls are no picnic.