Monday, 7 January 2008

Jake's New Year's Resolutions



Hi, I'm Jake. I'm giving my owner a break today because she's worn out from walking me and feeding me and bathing me and playing with me. That's because I'm a 5-month-old Border Collie who's full of energy and likes to have tasks. Since my owner doesn't believe in making New Year's Resolutions, I figured I'd do a few instead.

1. Finish the job I've started on chewing the wicker chairs into tiny sticks. I've started on three of the chairs and only have three more to go.

2. Finish digging the hole I've started by the garage. I should be in China by the end of the year with any luck. My owners filled in my last hole and I've had to start all over again.

3. Continue to gobble up all the goodies the cats leave for me outside including fur balls, feces, and dead mice. They're so kind and thoughtful.

4. But that doesn't mean I'll stop chasing the cats. It keeps them fit. So I'll be their personal trainer for 2008. And it'll help keep me fit too.

5. Continue to explore the rest of the house, particularly upstairs. I love stairs.

6. Keep convincing my owners that I need nice, long walks, especially in the park where I get to meet other dogs and run through the heather (my personal favourite). I also plan to climb to the top of the big rock and jump off. Right now, my owners won't let me go to the top.

7. Convince my owners that I need freshly cooked chicken and rice EACH AND EVERY DAY or I won't eat. I hate that dry stuff they give me even though it says on the bag that it's really good for puppies.

8. Sit on the leather couch every day and watch the football with my owner's son. I love football. I can't wait to play again.

9. Teach my owner how to walk with me. Right now she thinks she should be in charge but I know differently.

10. Continue to be myself.

16 comments:

Flowerpot said...

well Jake you are obviously a strong minded individual who knows how to handle your owners. Well done! Spare a thought for mum though. Treat her gently. let her think she's in control some of the time.

Pantheist Mom said...

Hey Jake. You sure are cute. Bet you get away with a lot because of that. Continue to use those eyes and subtle ear movements to full advantage. Humans think a little cock of the head thrown in is pretty cute, too.

Kelly said...

Jake and Nugget must be related! Re: food Nugget took about eight months to eat anything...even cooked chicken. Now she wolfs it down, but only when she's hungry. I have found that buying 'dog gravy' and putting that onto the dry food is a good incentive....

nothing has stopped her digging.

softinthehead said...

Jake - a fine list of new year's resolutions for any dog worth his salt. Unfortunately my owner has changed her working hours and I am not getting nearly enough leather couch time these days.

Kaycie said...

Ah, Jake, you're a cutie. Be nice to your people, they love you and know what's best!

J said...

Hey, Jake -

Tally here. I'm a collie/retriever mix. I think you should also learn how to snatch food from the table when your owners aren't looking, gobble it up quickly, then look innocent. It's a marvelous trick that I employ often.

Cheers, and happy new year!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

flowerpot: I let her think that every now and again, and then she gives me a treat. I'm partial to Schmackos.

PM: I also have a trick of lifting one ear up straight and keeping the other one down. That amuses them no end.

kelly: I'll tell my owner to put dog gravy on the shopping list. Yum!

softinthehead: You've got to grab the opportunities for leather couch sitting while you can. Wait till your owner goes out, then make your move.

kaycie: thank you. I'll remember that.

Tally: I'm almost big enough to do that now. I try while my owner is carving turkey or whatever but I get shouted at. I must keep trying.

DJ Kirkby said...

Jake you are beautiful! Have you met Ben and Hollie over at Kahless's blog? Happy birthday to you dear Wake up and many more!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

DJ: No I haven't met Ben and Holly.Are they Spaniels? I love Spaniels. Also Labradors. My two best friends are a Cocker Spaniel named Toby and a Labrador named Sooty.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Well Jake, you look like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth! I bet you lead your mum a merry dance!

Ask her if she's discovered Kongs yet as I bet you'd love one of those and it will keep you quiet for ages!

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Thats a lot of resolutions Jake, good luck with all that!

Pixie said...

Ah Jake, it's good to see setting a good example with your resolutions, more should follow you. You could start a whole new industry in eating whicker chairs instead of slimfast!
pxx

Sparx said...

Ha! Jake, you can come over here anytime you like, my cat leaves LOADS of goodies!

laurie said...

ha! these were so good i had to read them out loud to boscoe, who said, "Owners? what's an owner?"

and i said, "ummm i think he means TYPIST."

Kaycie said...

Happy birthday to you, WUASTC! (Well, it's already our birthday where you are! I still have to wait half an hour.)

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

AOJ: My owner puts my favourite, peanut butter, in my Kong. I get very excited about it. Smooth-style is the best.

VI: Thanks, VI, I think I can handle it.

Pixie: Ugghh. Slimfast! Wicker has much more fibre.

Sparx: Anytime you need someone to clean up the cats' goodies, I'm available.

Laurie: Isn't Bosco your owner?

Kaycie: I have something special planned for my owner today. A nice walk in the rain. She loves that. (Well, I do anyway.)