Friday, 12 September 2008

They're Out There

Hi folks. I need some input on a little situation.

I'll start at the beginning. My sister is a Palinator. She actually likes her. OK, we're all entitled to opinions. I have (had) a friend who is a rabid (yeah, foam dripping from the mouth) Democrat who HATES Republicans. Both of these women send me endless emails supporting their views. I thought I'd send along a few from the Democrat Bulldog to my sister to enlighten her on Sarah Palin. My sister sent a reply about how she really likes Palin and what she represents and added some personal stuff that happened to her in the 70s. Only the reply went to the Bulldog. And the Bulldog attacked back in a very vicious manner.

OK, she didn't know who the email was from. But...

I don't know who you are or how you got my email below, but I must say you seem to bequite conflicted. If you think Sarah Palin represents women who demand choice, you aresadly mistaken. She does NOT represent women who demand choice over their bodies,and her 17-year-old daughter is living proof. She is herself, too. Everything about her iswrong, wrong, wrong, and too far to the right, right, right.As for John McCain, he is a superficial man who divorced his wife upon his return fromVietnam when he learned she had been maimed from a car accident. Nice guy. And hischoice in VP -- without proper vetting and by pandering to the religious right, a group thatis definitely in the minority and whose religious institutions should pay taxes since they interferewith politics... shows me that he is impulsive. And unqualified.You say that the media should not allow itself to portray the election as a beauty contest,well, start with the GOP. Palin was selected because she is attractive. She has no politicalexperience except on the local level.... Her candidacy is a misbegotten pipedream.She is in way over her head, and you are, too. I don't know you, I don't know how yougot my email, but if you are monitoring emails on behalf of the wingnuts on the right andwriting "personal" responses that are really designed to sway me to your side, BACK OFF.YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME THAT THE GOP IS CAPABLE OF RUNNINGTHIS COUNTRY, OR THAT McCAIN-PALIN IS A TICKET WORTHY OF SUPPORT.Keep your damn opinions to yourself, and stay away from my emails. I don't give a shit ifyou "like Palin." I don't, my friends don't, and we will do everything we can to ensure she isNOT elected. BACK OFF.

My sister sent back an email apologizing for sending it to the wrong person and reiterating her right to her opinion. Bulldog sent the whole exchange to her posse of friends, including me, asking who this person was. I immediately emailed back to say it was my sister, she meant the email for me, etc. I also sent one to the whole posse saying Bulldog had actually met my sister at my wedding in 1992. Bulldog's reply was that she had no idea who the email was from, otherwise she might have considered apologizing for the strength of her response and that she couldn't be expected to remember someone she met once in 1992 who has a common name (she doesn't).

I emailed Bulldog that I thought the best way to prevent this situation happening again was for her to take me off her email list, and I put a block on her email address. I also said that if I were in her shoes, I probably would have just deleted the email or not even read it at all since we're always being told not to open email from addresses we don't recognize in case it contains a virus.

Does Bulldog represent a significant sector of the Democrats? Because if she does, that party will never win an office. I find her to be as intolerant of other views as any right-wing wacko. She also has anger management issues. She scared the shit out of my kids in February when we went skiing. The kids had been goofing around and changed the combination on the safe. Bulldog went ballistic because her jewelry was in there. She has lost two jobs in the past six months, but it was the employer's fault. In fact bad things happen to her and it's always the other guy's fault. I've known her for 30 years, and it's sad to see her this way. Is it because she lives in NYC now?

I hate to let go of a 30-year friendship, but... I think she's in dire need of therapy or Valium or something. Maybe a life?

19 comments:

J said...

I'm a committed Democrat, but I would never send out so personal attack as that. Oh - and McCain divorced his first wife after starting up his relationship with Cindy, and admits to affairs before then.

There certainly is that vitriolic element in both parties, and it's hard to manage. I'd say most Democrats are more tolerant of opposing views (though many have jaws still dragging on the floor over the Palin choice). I actually think the left needs to get more angry about what is happening on the other side - rally the base and draw some attention. It's actually how the GOP has worked for years.

But that email - it did go too far, it sounds like she does need a chill pill, and I think you were right to set up some boundaries. Maybe in time, the friendship can be restored (if you even want that), but until then boundaries and email blocks are good.

Candy said...

The truth about the world is that there are always two extremes. Bulldog represents the opposite extreme of the Religious Right she so hates. She does NOT represent most Democrats, only those who are so far to the left that they lose sight of reality.

I'm not sure this is all something to lose a long time friendship over. You've apologized for the situation. It's up to her now.

Kaycie said...

I think I am more along the lines of what one might consider to be a typical Democrat (if there is such a thing). I cannot imagine any circumstance where I'd send out anything so ugly.

I am just as appalled at McCain's choice of running mate. Charlie Gibson interview Palin on Good Morning America this morning. I had to turn the channel. It turned my stomach to hear her speak.

Annie said...

This represents what disgusts me so much on BOTH sides of the political fence here.

I do not believe it represents any sane intelligent Democrat.

I support the Democratic Candidate and I would say that there are plenty of flaws in what is being presented from McCain and Palin in terms of issues and promises that it is completely unnecessary in my view to resort to spewing angry emails full of rumour about people's character or past.

That email is disgusting.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Thank you, guys. If I leave this friendship behind, by the way, it will be for a number of reasons. This email is the last straw. Even if it wasn't to my sister, if it was to a complete stranger, I would wonder what her problem is. Actually, I know what her problem is.

Expatmum said...

Then the e-mail thing turned out quite well in one way. She does sound rather wound up, and I'm sure NYC isn't helping (sorry New Yorkers, but it can be a little stressful sometimes.)
I can't believe she sent out something like that without knowing who she was talking to. Yes, we Dems are a little bit tense at the moment, but really!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Ah, expatmum, you always look on the bright side of things, don't you?

Miss Snuffleupagus said...

This is hilarious! Clearly this woman has issues. No, of course all democrats aren't like her! No one is...

DJ Kirkby said...

Scary! Hello my friend, long time no visit but there is an award for you over at my place. xo

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Snuffy: Do you think it's a coincidence that since I've blocked her email I've started receiving porn spam, which I had not been before?

Hi DJ, long time no read blogs. I will do better. I'll be over right now.

jenny said...

Does seem a bit harsh to reply to someone you don't know like that. I have 20 year friendships that I kind of hold on to, though we hardly talk anymore and I hold onto more because it's been 20 years! I realize though, that some friends come in and out of my life for a reason and I don't hold onto them anymore. Sounds like it's time to let this one go-- One less dysfunctional person in your life.

I don't claim any political party, and vote for the candidate I like best. I'm not crazy for either Obama or McCain and I'll be voting for the one that meets most of my criteria. Still working that out..

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Hi Jenny: Thanks for taking time out from your busy family life to visit me. A lot of people are like you, I think. Undecided just yet. I don't think my "friend's" vicious and personal attack would sway any fence-sitters either.

Fire Byrd said...

There are intolerant people of every colour, race, creed, political persuasion.There isn't a right view except our own!
But when others want to inflict their veiws on me I do take isssue.
But I wonder how the only superpower in the world think that potentially electing someone who believes in creationsim can justify it's position.
xx

Retiredandcrazy said...

Even in the UK I have been sent emails about Sarah Palin. It seems that she has really stirred up a hornets nest.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Firebyrd: I don't think most Americans realise just how important the USA is to the rest of the world. They care only about their small patch and really give a hoot about the rest. I don't like others foisting their views on me either. Bulldog's view was that my sister had inflicted her views on Bulldog, though my sister had no such intention of doing so.

retiredandcrazy: I keep thinking John McCain's ego will rebel and dump her since she's taking so much attention away from him.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I think the email was a catalyst for change. Dump that angry unstable woman. I had a problem with a troll lately and it is actually my neighbourover the road! She tried to disguise what she wrote but it was woefully apparent it was her. She is quite a horror so it has been good fun winding her up after her comment! I leave her alone now as I have moved on but I am so glad she is out of my life. Silly angry and hostile woman. Go on, dump her! You deserve nice people in your life.

laurie said...

um.... i wouldn't jump to the drastic measures of blocking emails from a 30-year friend.

i'd take the high road, tell her i'm sorry i forwarded the email, that i should have kept away from politics and friendship and email, which is a rather volatile combination, and i'd try to calm everyone down.

maybe i'm too much of an appeaser. but i do hate to lose 30 -year friendships over what is basically a misunderstanding.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

MOB: Wow, your neighbour? That's brave. Wouldn't she be afraid you'd do something drastic, like put sugar in her petrol tank?

laurie: You're right. If this were the only thing, I wouldn't end a 30-year friendship. But it's not. Sometimes people grow apart and in different ways. My friend unfortunately has grown more angry and embittered over the years due to many personal circumstances. I gave her a lot of slack for that reason. I would have given her even more slack if she'd shown the slightest iota of regret or responsibility this time. She did not. She ridiculed my sister, though she didn't realize it was my sister. If my sister knew that she'd sent the entire email exchange out to her entire email address list, well, she'd be humiliated. And there's no need for that. This is a very angry woman, and I don't need her negative energy in my life anymore.

Sparx said...

Wow... she needs to let go of some anger. You have to look at the two political sides with a certain amount of equinanimity... there are hardline nuts on both sides of the fence but they don't represent the norm!