Does anybody who isn't Chinese read my blog anymore? Not that I have anything against the Chinese people but some comments in English are welcome as well.
Anyway, I have no room to complain as I have been an errant blogger. But much has been happening in my world. I started working. Yes, Wakeup has a job, actually two jobs and possibly a third on the way. I am a peripatetic support worker for people with autism. This is completely different to anything I've ever done, and yet it's not. I have been a carer for the past 18 years for FEX and my children. Now I get paid for it, and I get to work with autistic people. Yes, so far I enjoy it. Autism is an extremely complex disability. No two autistic people are alike, I've discovered. One may have highly developed verbal skills but has no concept of time and won't feed him or herself. Another may have no language skills and no toilet skills. All autistic people have a high level of anxiety. My heart goes out to them. Imagine trying to cope with daily living when you, through no fault of your own, have no coping skills and never will. Imagine being the parents of such a child. Imagine the hopes and dreams you had for your child and realising they will never happen. You can never relax because you never know what's going to happen, or you do know what's going to happen.
An interesting job, but not a highly paid one. That's why I'm also cleaning houses, which is far better paid. And I have an interview for a third job next week. Put them all together, though, and they add up to a decent wage. Not much free time, but who needs that? I am having a hard time adjusting to not being here for the family that don't want me here anyway. Well, I think my son does. And my daughter does on occasion. Who knows what FEX wants. Who cares?
The pension actuary's report came out today. I need to look at it in more detail but I'm leaning toward not going for a share of FEX's pension but a payout. That way I can invest it how I want, not how FEX wants. He has been a good money manager, but if I'm to have my independence, I must pull away completely. Also, who knows what could happen in the next 15 years. I could die. I could remarry. He could die. Life is full of uncertainty. FEX has been on the phone a lot with the kitchen door shut. I don't care who he's calling, but my dad has been trying to call me for several days because my stepmother has been in the hospital. And all he gets is a busy signal. I imagine FEX is on the phone with Julie16 and perhaps his two friends, five acquaintances, sister, and mother to update them on how wonderful he is and how horrible I am. My dad said he won't ever emerge from this negative state unless something really catastrophic happens to him. I don't wish that on him, but I do pray he one day stops this negativity and moves on. He's in danger, otherwise, of allowing our divorce to determine his reaction to everything and everyone in his life. And that's not a healthy way to be.
But I have no control over that. And meanwhile, I have so much to learn about autism.
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7 comments:
Still reading - and not Chinese! I've no useful advice to offer you so I keep quiet. Sounds like you're busy these days and I'm glad you're enjoying working life again!
I'm still reading but haven't left any comments recently as I haven't been well.
My Daughter is a Special Education Teacher on the Gold Coast and teaches severally autistic children. She has 5 in her class. I have the highest admiration for my Daughter and now you Wakeup. You should feel very proud of your new job.
FEX is a royal pain in the a*** Guess it's early days yet but is there any chance that you and your children could move out and find your own place, just as Sub did? Even better would be for FEX to move out but I'm guessing hell would freeze over before he would do that. Moving out of this situation with your children, he wouldn't have as much time to work his nastiness on your children.
Stay strong Wakeup and keep that lovely smile on your face. Don't let him get to you, remember KARMA is a beautiful thing♥ Love to you Linda xxx
Hi there,
I read regularly, comment infrequently.
I think your job(s) will make a HUGE difference in your life and in your kids' life. It may be good that you are not there for their every 'need'. I feel like I get so much more respect/attention when my kids have to fend for themselves.
I think of you often and always wish you the best.
Yes - I still read your blogs and, like Angela, can't say anything much from experience because this sort of thing hasn't happened me, thank goodness.
But your positive attitude impresses me, as does your energy in taking on two jobs and possibly THREE! Good luck. [I wish I could read Chinese!]
i'm trying to catch up on everyone's blogs. looks like you've been busy. in a mostly good way. hope you keep it up.
Hi! Yes, I do read your blog - though not frequently. I don't write in mine anymore so I don't see the notices that blogs I follow have been updated.
I'm also not sure what to say to you - my heart just aches for you and your children...I have absolutely no good words or advice to share. I have no idea what I'd do. I'm listening, though - and I'm angry for/with you, and hoping that things turn around for you very soon. It's been long enough!!
My Name is JOHN.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to templeoflove1@gmail.com i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck,website http://templeoflove1.webs.com
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