Wednesday, 27 May 2009

He's Gone

Yesterday was Jake's last day on this planet. It didn't start off too well. He attacked hubby when he tried to put his halter on. Hubby's jeans were ripped, his leg bitten in two places (though not as badly as mine). When I heard the yells, my heart sank. Since Jake bit me so badly a week ago (entailing a tetanus shot and antibiotics), I knew if he did it again that would be the end.

I phoned the animal behaviourist, who of course wasn't there. If I can blame anyone for this mess, I blame her. While her assessment of Jake was accurate, her solutions were next to impossible. She was always late returning phone calls. It was always £200 here, £90 there. And at the end of it, Jake was worse than when we first saw her. Hubby also phoned the vet and left a message.

And we waited for these people to call back. And waited. And waited. Jake dragged the lead and halter around all day because we were too frightened to take them off. Finally, the behaviourist phoned back and said that these situations take a long time and there's no guarantee of a solution. Wish she'd told me that about £500 ago. The message hadn't been passed to the vet so hubby rang again. We were told to pick up sedatives and bring him in when he'd passed out. So we fed him six pills. And waited. Nothing happened. So hubby went back to the vet's and got eight more pills. And we waited. He did calm down enough to allow me to stroke him. I felt his body relax for the first time ever, I think. He was how he used to be before all the operations, etc. I am so glad I got that time with him.

He still was awake but we loaded him into the car. He gave one last growl. Our vet, who is the best vet alive, took him in, gave him a shot, then brought him out to us. Jake fell asleep, then the vet administered the final shot. We all cried. We asked to get his ashes back, and the crematorium rang last night to say they'd be ready today. I tried to pay the vet last night, but he said to come back later in the week.

Goodbye, Jake. I hope you're in a better place now.

Being the superstitious person I am, I hope all our luck changes for the better now. Does this sound callous? I don't mean to sound like Jake was the source of all our woes, but he certainly was ONE of our woes. For a week I've known he would have to go. I hoped he could go to a rescue place, but his unpredictability and violence meant he couldn't. I thought how we'd feel once he'd gone. Relief is what I thought we'd feel. I knew I had to clear his stuff as soon as possible and did so as soon as we got back from the vet's despite being blinded by tears. I know we will get a new puppy one day, one from a proper breeder. A Golden Retriever perhaps.

I want to remember Jake as he was -- the happy-go-lucky puppy with the little tail that spun round in circles when he was excited. That was a lovely dog.

16 comments:

DogLover said...

So sorry, Wakeup. I have had to "say goodbye" seven times now and I know how painful it is.

I wonder what caused the change in Jake from a nice little companion into that dangerous monster. Perhaps something just went wrong in his brain; who knows? Not the animal behaviourist, obviously!

I recommend labradors - easy to take care of, but always telling you they're hungry!

Good luck with your choice.

J said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You tried so hard.

softinthehead said...

So sorry to hear you had to do that but it really was for the best, Jake obviously wasn't a happy dog and you cannot live with that danger.

Annie said...

I'm sorry :( I've been reading about your struggles with him - such a sad situation and you certainly did plenty to try and sort him out. Poor pup. He's not suffering any more.

Henry the Leaphound said...

Oh you poor things. I'm so sorry this has happened, and to be honest I'm quite angry with your behaviourist, they should have realised what a serious situation you had and actually had a solution not lots of bills. Don't loose faith in our canine friends, there are lots out there that are nice and calm, entertaining and look after you, I think greyhounds are perfect, they are big but have small paws, short hair that dosen't get all over the place and they spend hours laying with their legs up the wall just relaxing which is always good for a human! Take some time to chill and drink lots of wine, things WILL get better. Catherine x

Eurekapaws said...

I am so sorry to hear that, but you really had done everything you could. The great thing about dogs is that they live so much in the present - no regrets, no plans for the future.

It sounds as if Jake was in pain, both physically and emotionally, and you did the best thing for him by letting him go.

Fire Byrd said...

Oh I'm so sorry.
I'm glad my memory of Jake is that great walk on the beach last summer.
You must be feeling so sad, it should have been different.
Love
xx

Kaycie said...

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts your way.

Dave Pie-n-Mash said...

Hello Wakeup. I am sorry to hear you had to do this. It's a painful thing and seems so unjust - especially when he used to be such a great pet. I wonder if he still carried a lot of pain from one of the ops that maybe wasn't as successful as you may have thought? Whatever it was, he was a great pet at one time and clearly was loved.

sally in norfolk said...

very sad indeed :-(

Expat mum said...

I'm glad they gave you sedatives for him. It would have been horrendous taking him in the way he was. Sorry you had to let him go. That's the down side of pet ownership - losing them.

ChrisB said...

I've been following your story and I'm so sorry it finally ended this way. Jake really was so unhappy and you really did try to help him.

Fred said...

You did all you could. In fact, you did way more than most would have done.

I'm sorry it had to turn out this way.

laurie said...

god, this makes me sad. but you are right: you can't have a dog that bites, and you can't have a dog you're afraid of.

jenny said...

So sorry to hear about Jake. Makes me think twice about getting rid of our dog. She is nowhere as troubled as Jake was, we just don't have the patience to deal with a puppy on top of everything else. But then again, I know it's because she is a puppy that she behaves so, and we just need to be more willing to adapt to her needs.

Jake is in a better place now, without pain and worries. It's hard to put down a pet, been there. Wish I could give you a hug. (((Hugs)))

Jane said...

I have been there, in a slightly different way, and it hurts so much. My dogs were my family and I'm heartbroken.