Monday, 28 April 2008

Temperature's Rising

God, I hope hubby finds a job, and soon. He is almost impossible to live with. I know he's going through a tough time, but so am I. And we're all having to learn how to live together again after two and a half years of weekends only. The thing is, hubby thinks we should adjust to him, rather than the other way round. He's in London today for some meetings. Hopefully, one will be fruitful.

My stepdad seems to have settled in well into the nursing home. He even found some friends already. My mother is gradually getting used to it and is catching up on her sleep. After my 10 days there, I realised that she must have been waking up with him every single night. I know I did. She went to church yesterday for the first time in many months. I think as she rediscovers her social life she will perk up a bit more.

My stepdad doesn't have cancer, thank God. He has had a major stroke and many minor ones at some time in the past. He is in a wheel chair and on oxygen now. The wheel chair must be for the convenience of the staff because he can walk around with the aid of his walker (zimmer frame). He is supposed to be assessed by a physical therapist but my mother didn't know if he had been yet. I have to keep reminding her of what she needs to do and ask. My stepfather's responsible daughter took over the details but she's gone back to work, leaving my mother and the flakey one in charge.

Hubby and I have had a discussion about what happens to my mother once my stepfather dies (of course, he may find a new lease on life in the nursing home). The house they live in is in his daughters' names (this was done before my mother married my stepfather). The daughters said my mother is welcome to live there as long as my stepfather is alive. But what happens then? She said she doesn't have enough money to go into assisted living accommodation or to buy another house or condo.

My plan, provided hubby gets another job, would be to buy a condo in Florida, with my mother putting in about a third, for her to live in. It could be close to my sister but would give them both their own space (which they need). Although my mother is still able to live independently, those days may be numbered. There is no option that is neat and tidy because my mother doesn't have a neat and tidy life, nor does my sister. I think this would work out best for all.

I just want my life to be boring again. I want my biggest worries to be the five pounds I've gained or the party invitation that didn't come. I don't even feel like going out and socialising at the moment. A friend tried to get us to go out Saturday and I just didn't want to. That is so unlike me. I curled up in bed with the papers and the cat and watched TV. I haven't kept up with my blog buddies either. Every time I try to go on the computer, somebody barges in and needs to get on it (having one computer is a bit like having one bathroom). I want to feel funny and witty and sexy and energetic, and all those things just aren't happening right now.

12 comments:

softinthehead said...

Glad to hear things are a bit better with your mum and stepfather. Hope things pick up for your husband. You are going through a tough time right now but at least your mum is less of a worry at the moment. Thinking of you.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Thank, softinthehead. Amazing how quickly this phase in life has come round.

J said...

Boring and predictable is highly underrated. It's what I strive for in my life, too.

You've been through quite a lot in the last few weeks and months. It's no wonder you don't like going out. Any one thing could be overwhelming in the best of circumstances, and you have quite a confluence happening. Give yourself a break. Try to let it settle around you for a bit, as best you can.

Sending positive energy to you.

Kelly said...

Good news for now, but still so much to think about. I know what you mean about wanting to go back to a boringly normal life. It will happen...

thinking of you, K xx

Kaycie said...

I know how you feel. I've been bummed lately and plagued with family problems. I'm having a hard time just managing to keep the laundry done and the meals cooked.

I've been reading blogs, but not commenting and I haven't posted for at least a week. This is the first comment I've made all day.

Misery loves company, I guess. I do hope something pans out for hubby in London today.

laurie said...

you get the problems in droves, don't you, wakeup? the mother, the poor health, the husband, the job...

they'll be resolved, one at a time, and you'll feel better. in the meantime, i'd make you tea and bring you chocolates if i could....

hang in there.

-Ann said...

Any one of these problems could easily swamp some one, it's no wonder you don't feel social with all that's going on. It'll get better, slowly but surely. Good luck with it.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Thank you all for your comments. I wish I could give you all hugs, but for now cyber hugs will have to do. I remember a friend telling me when I went through my divorce (so far my only divorce): The wheel turns. It's a Yiddish saying, apparently. And it's true, isn't it. Bad things happen in our lives, then the wheel turns, slowly but surely.

Vi said...

ahhh, honey, we are sitll here. Lets hope hubby gets a job soon to get out from under your feet. One less thing to worry about!

DJ Kirkby said...

I reallly want a boring life again too, I'm with you on that one. Your condo buying plan sounds like a great idea, fingers crossed for you.

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