Sunday, 17 February 2008

Dos and Don'ts of Skiing Holidays

1. And this is very important. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT LOSE YOUR PASSPORT. OR YOUR CHILDREN'S PASSPORTS. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. IF YOU LOSE YOUR PASSPORT, LOTS OF PEOPLE WILL BE VERY PISSED OFF AT YOU, AND RIGHTLY SO. LOTS OF PEOPLE WILL BE INCONVENIENCED BY YOU. DON'T EVER LOSE YOUR PASSPORT.

2. If you do lose your passport, however, save your tears for the right moment, say, at the EasyJet counter when they're about to not let you on board.

3. Make sure you apologise to everyone, especially your husband.

4. Be kind to your daughter after she loses her phone with all her pictures of her dog on it. Remember, you fucked up much, much worse.

5. Do not ski in front of a pink terrorist. She will blindside you and take you out if you do.

6. Do not eat cabbage in front of your friends. They will make fart jokes all week long if you do.

7. Do not think that just because you've known someone a very long time that you actually get along or even have much in common anymore.

8. Thank your husband when you get home. You wouldn't be getting home if he hadn't called all the appropriate embassies.

14 comments:

Swearing Mother said...

Sometimes I have fantasised about losing my passport the evening before I'm due to go somewhere I don't want to go. Guess it's not so much fun in reality then?

Flowerpot said...

good holiday then?!

Kelly said...

Oh God, you poor thing....hoping the horror will fade soon. x

Vi said...

uh-ho, doesn't sound like a good time was had. More details please!!!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Sounds like it wasn't the holiday of lifetime.

C x

J said...

Can't wait to hear the details.

Glad you are home safe.

laurie said...

....and a tumultuous time was had by all.....

softinthehead said...

Whoops!Yes there are certainly a few more blogs in there.

Pantheist Mom said...

Oh lord. What do they do? Issue you an emergency temporary one to get home? Was the weather good at least???

Jen

Kaycie said...

I was petrified my daughter would lose her passport while we were in Paris. It never ocurred to me I might lose mine. Ouch.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Ah.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

But guess what, guys? I'm here to tell the tale.

blueangel said...

To be honest it sounds like we should be grateful you made it back in one piece!

blueangel said...

To be honest it sounds like we should be grateful you made it back in one piece!