Friday, 24 October 2008

OH, My Aching Back

Oh what a week. It started Sunday when I hurt my back while -- wait for it -- leaning over and looking at the newspaper. Yes, how mundane. How stupid. How pissed off was I? Plenty. I went to the doctor on Monday. I don't usually bother with doctors for my back and just go to physiotherapists. But this was really painful. He prescribed some heavyduty painkillers, which have knocked me out for most of the week. It's meant no gym, no driving, very little walking. And I'm really, really fed up with it. This morning, as I was gingerly getting out of bed, I went into spasm again. How pissed off am I? Plenty.

But today I'm not taking the painkillers because hubby is in London and I have to take the dog for a walk and I have to be able to drive Jake to the park. He's been looking at me mournfully all morning, like he's saying "PLEASE take me for a walk now." I'm working my way up to it.

I'm not feeling as upbeat this week as I was last week. Hubby was supposed to hear about the only job possibility he's got at the moment. And the call hasn't come yet, which seems ominous. I got an email from my sister yesterday about my mother. Seems my stepfather's son-in-law, a pompous, overweight prick, was incredibly rude to my mother on Sunday. She'd told a story at lunchtime which she repeated at dinner, and he took the opportunity to make fun of and humiliate her. She was so upset she told my sister she's moving to Florida now. My mother also apparently has a kidney infection. She has had a pain in her side for about a year and finally went to the doctor about it, who said it probably started in her urinary tract and moved up to her kidneys. She's on heavyduty antibiotics and really doesn't need the prick making fun of her.

I've considered calling the asshole and telling him off or emailing his wife. It's probably best if I do neither. I asked my husband if we could help my mother financially in finding a place to live in Florida. He said we'll be on the dole if we do. I cried my eyes out while making dinner. I kept cooking so I had an excuse not to talk to hubby or anyone else.

Hubby has been down this week too. He's been very quiet and even more short-tempered with the kids than usual. Last night, though, my daughter asked if we could play a card game. I wasn't in the mood but told them to play with their dad. From the whoops and hollers, I could tell they were having a good time. They need more times like that. Hubby comes down very hard on son and sometimes on daughter as well. I've suggested he back off a bit, but he hasn't taken my advice with very good grace. They're going to grow up hating him if he isn't careful.

Yesterday I met up with a very good friend who also has been through financial hard times. Her hubby drowns his sorrows in two or three bottles of wine a night. I advised her to contact al-Anon. We both agreed when these hard times are over for us, we're going to do more charity work. I have in the past, then gave it up. People need to know there is always someone out there for them, even if it's just to listen and make a cup of tea.

The other thing I want to do an Open University course. And I even found the course: English Language and Literature. I have been fascinated by the evolution of this complicated language since I read Chaucer at the University of Florida. The only thing holding me back right now is the cost: £610 per module. I don't think I can qualify for financial aid yet either. What a pickle.

Hubby and I are still looking to buy a business or two as well. We just have to find the right one that's recession-proof, if there is such a thing.


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

A food business is recession free! people need to eat, pay taxes or die so there's always a business opportunity in those three areas!

Re your family problem - may the guy who was cruel to your step father get a plague of boils on his arse. Insensitive swine.

Hope you get good news about the hubby's job soon.

Fire Byrd said...

Fingers crossed that your world turns on it's axis really soon and takes an upward turn.

Queen Vixen said...

Phew Wake up - things are tough at the moment. But I like the way you are seeing the bits of fun and sunshine along the way. In my experience starting a course and having faith you will find the money really works. Somehow it happens and the rewards for you and the enrichment of your life will be priceless. Good luck - all of you.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

mob: Yes, people always have to eat. As for the asshole, it was my mother he was unkind and cruel to. Even worse.

fire byrd: I remember when I went through my divorce a friend told me a Yiddish saying: The wheel turns. And it does. Sometimes a bit slowly, but it does.

QV: I'm thinking I'll volunteer for the Samaritans. I've often felt the need for a sympathetic ear over the last year, and I'd like to lend mine to some other lonely soul.

Flowerpot said...

fingers crossed re hubby's job but I agree about food business in a recession. And I reckon you're better off working for yourself anyway, particularly in a recession.

DogLover said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DogLover said...

Finding a business may be fairly easy in due course, as the slump begins to take hold and some poor guy has to pack up.

You are in a rotten place at the moment and I wish you and your family well. After your reference to Al-Anon, I wonder if you are keeping your ODAT by your side?

But why wait till "these hard times are over" before staring to do charity work? It's going to be needed more than ever and it would give you a feeling of being positive. That's a good idea - I must think about taking my own advice!


PS For anyone who doesn't know, ODAT is a little book called One Day at a Time and it's full of simple wisdom.

Expat mum said...

I have this sad picture of you crying over the dinner. I hope things start to look up.

Fred said...

It's not recession-proof, but teaching sure comes close. We're projected to gain students at my high school next year, so we'll actually gain teachers.

Sorry about your back and the family issues. I can vouch for's a great place to live.

I hope things work out soon for your hubby.

K. L. said...

This is my first visit (via Henry the Leaphound)--I'm sorry life is so hard for you and your family right now and hope things begin to improve very soon. About the class--can you audit the course? This is usually less expensive and means you don't take the exams and such, but you still reap the benefits of the readings, instruction, and discussion. K

Anonymous said...

Sending you a big Northumbrian hug. You sound as though you could do with a long holiday.

Take care, CJ xx

Trixie said...

Know what you mean about back problems, did mine in on Monday working in the cellar.

Hope things start picking up for you hon!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

flowerpot: Thank you for your kind thoughts.

doglover: I must find ODAT. I've started in a small way with charity work by buying all my Christmas gifts at them.

expatmum: I suppose if anyone had seen me that day, it would have been a sad picture. But things always move on, don't they, and I'm better now.

fred: Yes, teaching is recession-proof. I've given thought to it, but hearing my own children talk about their teachers put me off.

k.l.: Welcome to my blog! I don't know if I can audit courses in the UK, which is where I live.

cj: But I'm fortunate compared to lots of people, and I do need to remind myself of that from time to time.

trixie: Hope your back is better. Nothing worse, is there?

Mean Mom said...

Sorry about your back. Being in pain does nothing to lift your mood, does it?

I understand at least some of what you are going through. My husband was made redundant once and took voluntary redundancy twice, because the alternatives would have been worse. It's a frightening and stressful time for everyone and my husband was short with the lads, sometimes, too.

Your poor mother! Mine tells me the same things every time I see her. Very occasionally I say 'I know mom, you told me.' Mostly I just listen again and say nothing.

I hope that things improve for you.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Recessionproof business? I know an undertaker who is not short of business, but no-one is paying their bills!

Hope you back is better.